My Anthology of Thoughts on Christmas Carols

We still have roughly 2 more weeks until Christmas, but I’ve already had Pandora on the Christmas station since the drive home for Thanksgiving.  After having listened to countless hours of Christmas carols, at random, over the last few weeks, I’ve decided to compile a list of random thoughts I’ve had and revelations I’ve reached in the process.

Most Likely to be Played by Pandora

Rudolph the Red-Nose Reindeer:

It seems to be played at a 2- or 3-to-one ratio to the next closest song.  It was never really my favorite although I don’t think has anything to do with the fact that it was written as an assignment for a retail store coloring book back in the 1930s.

I also don’t think it’s because of Santa and the other reindeer bullying Rudolph in the “claymation” TV special, although that certainly doesn’t help (Aside: Isn’t Santa supposed to be the supportive patriarchal figure? Not really so jolly when he’s bashing the elves for their song or telling Donder he should be ashamed of Rudolph…)  Maybe it’s just the idea of a living creature of any sort with a glowing red nose – he may want to get that looked at.  I will say this for it though: it was a little enjoyable to hear the student section singing it during the WVU/Miami basketball last night, although we were up by 20 at the time so we were already having fun.

LEAST FAVORITES

Christmas Shoes

I'm including the video above, but I don’t recommend watching.  It doesn’t invoke any of the happy feelings of Christmas, but is instead about a little boy buying a pair of shoes for his dying mother, not having enough money for them, but being helped out by the guy behind him in line.  Don’t click on it unless you feel like you could use a good cry.

I Believe in Father Christmas

While some people may interpret this song as a coming of age from belief in Santa towards faith in Jesus and that Christmas is not about receiving but about giving, it comes across to me as someone who once believed in the spirit of Christmas, but was hurt one too many times and has given up on his faith.  An interesting note though: the line in the song reads “I believed in Father Christmas” while the title of the song is “I Believe in Father Christmas”.  The play on past versus present tense may back up the former theory in which Lake believed Christmas was about getting gifts from Santa and decorating a tree, but grew to realize it was about love and generosity.

Regardless, it requires too much analyzing for me to consider it an enjoyable Christmas song.

Santa Baby

A song from the perspective of a woman who wants virtually every expensive gift imaginable.  On second thought, maybe Emerson, Lake, and Palmer were on to something…

Baby It’s Cold Outside

A creepy song featuring a guy trying every possible excuse to keep his lady-friend from going home, made all the more creepy by the fact that the male vocalist, Leon Redbone, sounds an awful lot like Arlen Specter:

Imagine:

Not really a Christmas carol, but played during the season anyway, usually just after Auld Lang Syne.

Everyone seems to love this song, but I’m not a fan.  I’m not going to even try to get on a soapbox and “preach” about what the world would be like with no religion (I know I said I wouldn’t do it but I lied – folks love to talk about how many people are killed in the name of religion, but always seem to overlook those killed in the name of irreligion – see Stalin, Mao, and Pol Pot for examples).  Even John Lennon himself later looked back on this song with embarrassment at his naïveté.  The problem isn’t religion itself, but when religion colludes with a large oppressive government (I’m looking at you, Iran and Saudi Arabia – I don’t think I’d put “Burying people up to their necks and stoning them for being homosexuals” in my travel brochure).  And now, I’m way off topic...

FAVORITES

Silent Night / Night of Silence

These two songs seem to have been written to sing in medley.

Adeste Fideles

O Come All Ye Faithful, but in Latin!

What Child is This

It doesn’t bother me in the slightest that it was set to the tune of Greensleeves, a 1500s ballad with heavy sexual undertones (well, as heavy as you can get for a 1500s ballad).  It’s a lot better as a Christmas carol anway.

I’m getting tired, so I’m going to stop here.  Maybe I’ll pick it up next week with a post on Christmas TV specials/movies.

Updated 12/16:

I’ve decided to add a couple more that I’ve found interesting:

Crabs for Christmas

Didn’t hear this one on Pandora, but heard it a lot growing up.  My grandparents live in Delaware and my grandmother is originally from Baltimore, so I was bound to hear it at some point in my childhood:

 

12 Pains of Christmas

Probably my favorite Christmas parody song.  I’ve been hearing it more and more on the radio recently after not having heard it in years.